Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Part two of Bruises

(I know I said this would be two parts... but I guessed wrong on the amount per post... it really WILL be three...)That night, Ein joined me and the students in the dining hall. Dr. Stulz was completely surprised, but he hid it well and said nothing. He sat next to father and ate a fair amount, though it was obvious that excessive movement still pained him. After he and father had finished most of their meal, when Ein began to talk.
“I saw Hitomi practice today… she seems quite skilled…”
Father nodded and added more to his plate.
“For her level she has excellent technique,” he agreed. I was glad that he left out my horrid performance at tournaments. I might know the forms, but I seemed unable to beat even the weakest opponents.
“Her movements seemed slightly familiar,” Ein went on, “as though they were sparking some of my lost memory… perhaps if I delve futher into the arts I might uncover some of my past. I know I have asked much of your house already, but I was wondering if I might stay on and study here a bit. I would gladly work around the school in trade…”

Father leaned back and considered for a moment. I knew he was developing a great respect for Ein if nothing else. The young man was a living testament to the power if his will, and father did love strong drive. Other men might have worried about letting a complete stranger with no known past into their houses, but given that we lived in the most prestigious fighting school in Europe, there was actually little to fear on this front. While weighing the options, fathers eyes glanced over to my spot by the orange belt table. I looked pleadingly, and nodded. Chuckling, father turned back to Ein.
“If nothing else, sending you away would incur the wrath of my daughter… best keep you on for a bit…”
Ein nodded his head in thanks, and I let out a slight squeal of excitement.


Dr. Stulz continued to be baffled by the speed of Ein’s recovery.
“If half my patients healed with that speed,” he muttered, “I’d be out of a job…”
Ein generally accepted this with a distant smile and nod. Ein watched me practice every day for the next week. By the end of the it, Ein was able to walk pretty freely, and I had put in nearly triple my normal practice time.

Regained mobility had allowed Ein to make good on his promise to help around the dojo, and he more then fulfilled on his word. Sweeping, scrubbing floors, helping in the gardens… Ein was obviously feeling more up to par. In fact I had caught a glimpse or two of him out in the garden doing pushups, stretches and other limbering actives. We had begun to grow quite close, and he had a special half smile just for me… he was the older brother I never knew I always wanted, and I was the only thing that seemed to make the sadness behind his eyes disappear for a time. About halfway through the second week, Ein asked if he could join me in my kata. I was more then a little surprised, given that I had never seen him throw even a fake punch, but there was no way I could refuse. To my surprise, Ein followed my routine nearly perfectly, though admittedly stiffly. At the end, he was breathing rather heavily, which wasn’t surprising given his recent inactivity, but he was actually giving me a broad smile… actually think it was the first time I ever saw him truly happy.

“Thank you, Hitomi…” he murmured, “that was most enjoyable..”
“You speak Japanese?” I asked, again surprised. It really shouldn’t have seemed that odd given that Ein obviously WAS from Japan, or at least of Japanese descent, but he had never given any indication that he knew languages other then German before.
“I guess I do…” he replied, still in the eastern tongue, “though I can’t say I knew it myself…”

After that day, Ein threw himself into his karate study. I felt a little neglected, missing the long hours he had watched me, or talked with me during walks, but I knew it was something he needed to do. Ein was determined to excel in karate; he was sure it was sparking old memories for him, and that further study would help him recover what he had lost. I couldn’t deny that something had obviously clicked for him the day we had practiced together, and he had an uncanny knowledge of the martial arts, as though the lessons he was taking were refreshing old memories, not granting new ones. Perhaps that explains the speed with which he learned.

After just one week of watching me, Ein could perform my katas as well, if not better, then I could. Three more weeks and Hans was swearing that Ein was every bit as good, if not better, then he himself was. At this, father took interest and began personally training the stranger that had mysterious wound up on his door. By the time Ein had been with us for a year, father insisted in awed tones that his new student was just as qualified, if not better, to be at a teaching level then himself. But Ein had gained more then just martial prowess over the year; he had become like a member of the family, and everyone at the school loved him. He had also been heard speaking in English, Chinese, and Korean. Given his close connection to us, and his undeniable skill, it was obvious that father would offer him a job teaching, and Ein gladly accepted. He smiled as he walked out of a meeting with my father on the day after he reached teaching degree and rubbed his strong hand on the top of my head, messing up my brown hair.
“He wants me to start by seeing if I can help you at all, little sister…”

We started the next day, going over black belt katas again and again. After what seemed nearly endless hours, Ein gave me a small smile.
“I don’t really understand, Hitomi… your technique is perfect, even at a belt level above yours… why are you not black belt?”
“Father doesn’t like giving out belts on time or katas alone…” I mumbled, slightly embarrassed, “and I’m not really all that good… I’ve never even placed in a tournament.”
“What? With form like yours? How is that possible?”
“Oh, easy enough,” I giggled slightly at the open surprise in his eyes, “the other people hit me more then I hit them…”
“But you know how to block… how to punch… How to kick… I stood out there and watched you do it to the air over and over countless times…” he insisted, gesturing towards our favorite practice spot in the garden. I considered this for a bit, and then shrugged. How could I explain it to him? The way I just knew in my heart when I walked up and bowed to an opponent that I was already beaten. They were just better then me, had something I did not… for me, it wasn’t about beating them… it was just about trying to not be humiliated.
“The air doesn’t hit back I guess…” I finally concluded, shrugging again. Not surprisingly, Ein seemed less then convinced at this answer, but he smiled and let me go. I smiled back, walked quickly to my room, and cried my eyes out. I wasn’t good enough for Hans… I wasn’t good enough for father… I wasn’t good enough to win… and now wasn’t good enough for Ein. Even my mother had left me… There was really only one thing I was any good at… and that was at being the worst at everything else.


Ein and I did katas with me for the next few days, but I could tell he was preoccupied with something. I dare say my form was actually better then his on a few occasions. After two more days of this, and a good deal of obvious frustration on Ein’s part, my teacher decided to try something new.

“Hitomi,” he began, arms crossed over his chest, “I think I might have the answer to your problem…”
“Which one?” I laughed. I told Ein nearly everything, so there were at lest fifty girlish problems which Ein’s problem-solving nature might be thinking of. We were standing in the main dining hall, not long after diner. Most of the students and teachers were gone, only the cleaning crew darting from table to table. I was in my normal clothes, as was Ein… well, normal for Ein; black jeans, a dark grey tee that read “KARATE HARDCORE” in white block letters across the chest, topped with a slightly long leather jacket hardly classified as most people’s “Dining Attire.”
“A lot of them actually,” Ein chuckled, “get changed into your sparing clothes and meet me in the school’s front courtyard.”

I was moderately disappointed; dwelling on my short-comings has never been one of my favorite things to do. I was also moderately miffed at the thought of going to the front courtyard. It was a large rectangular area, paved with stone that was easily visible from quite a few of the school’s main buildings. Training in front of people was another thing low on my list of favorites. Moreover, it looked like it was going to rain big time…

I changed quickly, and ran right to the yard, but Ein was already there, in his uniform, arms crossed. I stopped in front of him, and his brown eyes regarded me closely. After what seemed a full minuet of silence, I cleared my throat nervously.
“Um, Ein… are we going to-”
“Shhh… not yet…”
I had no idea what he was playing at, so I just bit back my questions and waited. After about ten more seconds, the rain started falling. Two more seconds and it was pouring like I have rarely seen. Ein let the silence drag on a few more seconds as several indistinguishable figures in the courtyard began running to the school for cover. I was just about to protest again when Ein spoke. His voice was barely audible over the sound of the rain pounding the stones around us, but it was stingingly clear.

“You think you cannot win…”
I nodded, very aware then Ein’s eyes were boring right through me.
“You are right… you cannot.”
This was not what I had expected in the lease. Surprise must have been clear in my eyes, but Ein’s expression never even flickered.

“You think your failure to perform at tournaments causes your father shame… you know your not really good at anything… In your heart you know you will never beat an opponent…”
I nodded again. I was crying by this time, but the amount of rain pouring down over my face probably hid the fact from Ein.
“You right about all of it…”
The dark sky flashed brilliant as a bolt of lighting flicked from cloud to cloud. And then he said it. The one thing I never had wanted anyone to know.

“And you know, as well as you know anything, that it was your fault that your mother died.”

Thunder boomed, and my head jerked up to look back into Ein’s hard narrowed eyes.
“And that too, is just as true…”

Something in me snapped. I wasn’t sure if it was rage or sorrow that caused me to scream out, but my voice rang out shrilly over another clap of thunder.
“That’s not true!”
“Yes… it is…” his voice was infuriatingly even and low.
“No!” my hands balled into fists. I am pretty sure by that time rage was overwhelming sorrow.

“Prove me wrong…”

My right hand shot out, looking to catch his blurry face with a vicious hook. Ein faded back, blocking away from his body and sinking into a fighting stance. My hand whipped up, ready to continue my attack.
“You can’t beat me, Hitomi…”
“To hell I can’t!”
And for once, I meant it. There was no way he was going to get away with saying that to me. It wasn’t true at all, and I was going to shove it in his face. My left hand shot out in a jab, which Ein blocked, but I did a quick leg sweep, causing him to jump back slightly. Pressing hard, I kicked out with my forward left leg, a chest high sweep. Ein leaned back, letting my kick pass just over him, then slipped in and jabbed at me with his forward left. Normally this is the part when I get hit in the face and fall down hard on my butt, but something inside of me refused to let that happen. I knew I was going to block the punch, and I knew I was going to win. I jerked up my right hand and parried the blow, then driven on by some internal need to win, I griped the attacking wrist and spun under Ein’s arm. Jerking his arm around quickly, I flipped Ein over my shoulder to the ground. The next step was to pull up on the arm while kicking down, hopefully dislocating the opponent’s shoulder, but Ein was too good a fighter to let me do that. He jerked his arm free of my grasp and rolled to his belly. I knew a sweep recovery was coming, as surly as if I saw it before it happened, and I flipped back in a handspring. Water sprayed off the stone floor as Ein foot swept out where I had been, kicking as he pushed to his feet.

“Is that the best you have, orphan?” He barked, harsh sounding against another peal of thunder.
“At least I know my parents!” I screamed back, rushing forward. I jumped into a flying spin kick, but Ein saw it coming and skirted the attack. I instantly knew I was in trouble, as Ein was standing slightly behind me now. Before I could react, Ein’s hand shot out, connecting in a chop on the back of my neck. My head snapped back, and I sank to my knees. Ein danced round into my line of sight, and rested his weight back onto his rear leg, his right hand curled into a fist, ready at his waist level, while his left whipped out in a dismissive gesture.
“Get serious,” he growled. I don’t think either of us really expected what happened next. Rocking my weight onto my left knee, I whipped out my right leg in a quick sweep. Ein must have thought his blow had incapitated me, for he made no move to doge the kick, as though it was a total shock. My leg swept out his rear leg, sending him down hard on his butt. His arms quickly spread, trying to keep him half way up on the slick, wet stone.

It was all the opening I needed.

My right leg snapped back the way it had come, shin connecting solidly with Ein’s face. Has it connected with his nose bridge, I might have knocked him out cold, but as it was I clipped his forehead, drilling his head backwards and onto the stone floor with an audible crack. Still on my knees, I lurched forward, my right fist shot out right as Ein sat back up. He jerked back in surprise, my fist stopping inches from his face.

“I can win!” I growled.
“So I see,” looking back, I think his tone carried the hint of a smile, but that was lost on me at the time.
“I don’t suck at everything, or bring shame to my father.”
“Again, proved…”
“And I didn’t kill my mother!”
“Then there is nothing more you need to learn.” Standing Ein looked down at where I still knelt before him. He offered me a hand, but I stood up on my own.
“Fighting flows from the heart… the soul…” Ein had crossed his arms, regarding me closely again, “as long as you doubted… you feared… you blamed yourself for things you could never control… as long as that filled you, you would never have won a fight, picked up your grades in school, made those girls stop tormenting you, or felt satisfied with life.”
Turning, he began walking back to our building.

“I must tell your father you are ready to attempt an advance to black belt… you have still much to prove…”


The next day I was slightly stiff, and sniffling. I assume no one can stand in the rain and expect no side effects. But I felt free in a way I never had before. I walked into breakfast with a huge smile on face, and a breezy air. Even despite the lingering pains of my first no-holds-barred fight, I felt light and free in a way I never had before. What Ein had said was right; I had been blaming myself and fearing my insufficiency… I was suddenly ready for a new world, ready to prove myself to everyone around me. Ein saw my strutting entrance and flashed me a quick wink. I still have no idea how he saw what no one else had been able to divine, that under my carefree smile and laugh I had just been a lost little girl, lacking any confidence and trapped by guilt. But he had seen it, and my salvation brought him as much, if not more, joy to himself then it did me.

Ein stayed on as my personal teacher, and we sparred countless times over the next few years. I soon found out that, in reality, I had mostly managed to beat Ein because he underestimated what I was capable of. However, within a year I was the rival of all but the brightest and best of father’s students. And it was then, after four years with us, that Ein started having the dreams.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Reason for the Silence

The normal author of this blog would like to offer up his apologies for not posting an update to his story in some time. A good friend of both his brothers and himself died tragically this week which has meant the author has been unable to do any writing. Please be in prayer for the author's brother who was close friends with the man who died. Also remember the family of the deceased as he leaves behind 3 siblings as well as his parents.

Thank you for your patience and your prayers.