Seven Years part four
To say this weeks section is short would be like saying Hitler was a "bad man." However, I have very, very, VERY busy this week, as well as trying to sort through some personal complications, so I think I can be excused for only putting up the little bit I already had typed. And as an unrelated, random, thought the world can be a confusing place... Once again, read and review people... I love comments both good and evil (um, I mean negitave)
Shiek had just finished splashing water on her face when Scela entered the room. The young archer noticed Shiek’s slightly bloodshot eyes and gave a sympathetic smile.
“The ol’ Iron Maiden give you a rough lecture?” he joked.
Shiek’s eyes flashed fire.
“Her name is Impa, and she deserves more respect then a punk like you is even CAPABLE of giving!”
Snatching her turban and face covering, Shiek stalked quickly outside, leaving Scela to wonder what exactly he had said that was so wrong.
She stood out in the clear night. The stars and full moon shone brightly, and could see almost as well as in the day. She looked up to the moon and sighed; it was time to visit her personal hide-away. Shiek took a few running steps towards the cliff wall, jumping upwards just as she reached it. Planting her left foot on the wall at the height of her jump, she pushed herself the extra distance to a short think branch. Shiek grabbed it and used her momentum to swing around it like a gymnast’s pole. Letting go on the up-swing she flipped up to a small jut on the cliff wall. It was a small lip of rock, barely a foot wide and totally unnoticeable from the ground.
It was her spot, the only place in Hyrule that she truly ruled. As she sat cross-legged on the ledge, Shiek tried to clear her mind of all the draining thoughts that were ravaging it. She sat like that, thinking of nothing, for a good while. The moon had shifted quite a ways across the sky when the murmur of voices brought her back to the darkening night of Hyrule Plain.
“At twenty ruppies a play, it’s not a bad return on a win, no?” It was Draq’s voice. Toran had obviously caught up with him in the game parlors.
“I guess… I’m just worried that I’d lose all my money at the shooting gallery.”
“You have to know the trick of it. My brother was foolish enough to never miss. He cleaned house once, but they never let him play again. I make a few well timed losses to keep the game masters happy.” The voices were almost beneath her now. She heard the two pause outside the cave entrance. Draq mumbled something she couldn’t quite make out and Toran chuckled in reply.
“You coming in?” Toran’s question was back in the discernible level.
“Nah, it’s a warm night… I feel like a smoke and if I do it inside that little witch will have my hide.” She heard Draq sit down and the dull clink of his axe on the ground. Flint sounded, and Shiek saw a quick burst of flame, followed by slight dull glow from Draq’s long thin pipe, spring below her.
“Mind if I join you? Just to talk I mean…” Draq must have given an affirming gesture, because the sound of a second, lighter, body sitting down followed the question.
The two sat in scilance for a few minutes, broken only by the occasional sound of Draq taking an extra long draw at his pipe. Finally Toran broke the scilance.
“You don’t really think Shiek is a witch, Draq, surely…”
Draq chuckled.
“Of course I do! Any woman worth liking is a witch. The way Shiek acts sometimes would make you think she’s the rightful ruler of Hyrule, arrogant little snot. But I wouldn’t have her any other way; it gives her respectability and class.”
“How so?” Toran sounded a little dubious.
“It gives her sophistication. Take that girl that works in the bombachue bowling shop, whatever her name is… yeah, she’s cute, and yeah she can kiss like Heaven, but you just can’t respect her. She’s just so loose, so common… Shiek has class,” he chuckled, “and one darn good-looking figure too.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
Draq paused for a draw on his pipe before continuing.
“Of course it makes sense… and don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’re crazy about her. It’s a good choice; hope you two work out.”
Toran’s voice sounded as flustered as Shiek felt.
“But that’s… I mean… What do you know about it anyway!”
Shiek was sure Draq’s face held its ‘Sage-of-Wisdom’ and ‘I-know-EVERYTHING-you dolt’ smile.
“Experience my boy. I am your elder, don’t forget.”
“Like any of us ever could! It’s your proof for everything you say. And you are only THREE years older; that’s not much time at all.”
Draq’s voice held a tone of scorned wisdom.
“Ah, but those are three very important years. Trust me, at 21 your knowledge on many fields will have advanced beyond your dreams at 18, particularly on this subject.”
Toran seemed to accept this, and the two fell quite again. Shiek had just decided they must have fallen asleep when Toran’s voice came softly up. It was hushed, as though he was trying to ensure no one heard him, despite the fact he had no reason to believe anyone was around.
“Draq, you’re right about how I feel about Shiek. I didn’t even realize it myself until tonight. I just… well, when I saw her all cut up like that… when I left the cave I thought about a lot of things, and finally realized that I might love her just before finding you in the shooting gallery.”
“Yeah, I could tell you had something on your mind…” Draq’s voice had lost all traces of joviality.
“But I worry about her Draq. How can I tell her she shouldn’t fight anymore.”
“You shouldn’t…” she heard Draq stand, knocking the ash from his pipe. “You love her for who she is. You might think you want her to change, because it might make you happier in the short term. But if Shiek was really willing to give up fighting for what she thinks is right would she really be the Shiek you love? Trust me, it’s a thing I’ve had to learn the hard way.”
The door to the cave opened and it sounded as though Draq was starting to walk inside.
“Why do you fight, Draq?”
There was a long pause.
“Shiek fights because she believes in the stories. I fight because I believe in her. What do you believe in?”
There was another long pause. Finally Draq spoke.
“I believe in what I am, nothing more…”
The door closed, ending the conversation. Toran only stayed outside for a few minuets before following Draq inside, but it seemed an eternity for Shiek. So much had happened that night, and she knew it would be a long day in the morning.
Shiek had just finished splashing water on her face when Scela entered the room. The young archer noticed Shiek’s slightly bloodshot eyes and gave a sympathetic smile.
“The ol’ Iron Maiden give you a rough lecture?” he joked.
Shiek’s eyes flashed fire.
“Her name is Impa, and she deserves more respect then a punk like you is even CAPABLE of giving!”
Snatching her turban and face covering, Shiek stalked quickly outside, leaving Scela to wonder what exactly he had said that was so wrong.
She stood out in the clear night. The stars and full moon shone brightly, and could see almost as well as in the day. She looked up to the moon and sighed; it was time to visit her personal hide-away. Shiek took a few running steps towards the cliff wall, jumping upwards just as she reached it. Planting her left foot on the wall at the height of her jump, she pushed herself the extra distance to a short think branch. Shiek grabbed it and used her momentum to swing around it like a gymnast’s pole. Letting go on the up-swing she flipped up to a small jut on the cliff wall. It was a small lip of rock, barely a foot wide and totally unnoticeable from the ground.
It was her spot, the only place in Hyrule that she truly ruled. As she sat cross-legged on the ledge, Shiek tried to clear her mind of all the draining thoughts that were ravaging it. She sat like that, thinking of nothing, for a good while. The moon had shifted quite a ways across the sky when the murmur of voices brought her back to the darkening night of Hyrule Plain.
“At twenty ruppies a play, it’s not a bad return on a win, no?” It was Draq’s voice. Toran had obviously caught up with him in the game parlors.
“I guess… I’m just worried that I’d lose all my money at the shooting gallery.”
“You have to know the trick of it. My brother was foolish enough to never miss. He cleaned house once, but they never let him play again. I make a few well timed losses to keep the game masters happy.” The voices were almost beneath her now. She heard the two pause outside the cave entrance. Draq mumbled something she couldn’t quite make out and Toran chuckled in reply.
“You coming in?” Toran’s question was back in the discernible level.
“Nah, it’s a warm night… I feel like a smoke and if I do it inside that little witch will have my hide.” She heard Draq sit down and the dull clink of his axe on the ground. Flint sounded, and Shiek saw a quick burst of flame, followed by slight dull glow from Draq’s long thin pipe, spring below her.
“Mind if I join you? Just to talk I mean…” Draq must have given an affirming gesture, because the sound of a second, lighter, body sitting down followed the question.
The two sat in scilance for a few minutes, broken only by the occasional sound of Draq taking an extra long draw at his pipe. Finally Toran broke the scilance.
“You don’t really think Shiek is a witch, Draq, surely…”
Draq chuckled.
“Of course I do! Any woman worth liking is a witch. The way Shiek acts sometimes would make you think she’s the rightful ruler of Hyrule, arrogant little snot. But I wouldn’t have her any other way; it gives her respectability and class.”
“How so?” Toran sounded a little dubious.
“It gives her sophistication. Take that girl that works in the bombachue bowling shop, whatever her name is… yeah, she’s cute, and yeah she can kiss like Heaven, but you just can’t respect her. She’s just so loose, so common… Shiek has class,” he chuckled, “and one darn good-looking figure too.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
Draq paused for a draw on his pipe before continuing.
“Of course it makes sense… and don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’re crazy about her. It’s a good choice; hope you two work out.”
Toran’s voice sounded as flustered as Shiek felt.
“But that’s… I mean… What do you know about it anyway!”
Shiek was sure Draq’s face held its ‘Sage-of-Wisdom’ and ‘I-know-EVERYTHING-you dolt’ smile.
“Experience my boy. I am your elder, don’t forget.”
“Like any of us ever could! It’s your proof for everything you say. And you are only THREE years older; that’s not much time at all.”
Draq’s voice held a tone of scorned wisdom.
“Ah, but those are three very important years. Trust me, at 21 your knowledge on many fields will have advanced beyond your dreams at 18, particularly on this subject.”
Toran seemed to accept this, and the two fell quite again. Shiek had just decided they must have fallen asleep when Toran’s voice came softly up. It was hushed, as though he was trying to ensure no one heard him, despite the fact he had no reason to believe anyone was around.
“Draq, you’re right about how I feel about Shiek. I didn’t even realize it myself until tonight. I just… well, when I saw her all cut up like that… when I left the cave I thought about a lot of things, and finally realized that I might love her just before finding you in the shooting gallery.”
“Yeah, I could tell you had something on your mind…” Draq’s voice had lost all traces of joviality.
“But I worry about her Draq. How can I tell her she shouldn’t fight anymore.”
“You shouldn’t…” she heard Draq stand, knocking the ash from his pipe. “You love her for who she is. You might think you want her to change, because it might make you happier in the short term. But if Shiek was really willing to give up fighting for what she thinks is right would she really be the Shiek you love? Trust me, it’s a thing I’ve had to learn the hard way.”
The door to the cave opened and it sounded as though Draq was starting to walk inside.
“Why do you fight, Draq?”
There was a long pause.
“Shiek fights because she believes in the stories. I fight because I believe in her. What do you believe in?”
There was another long pause. Finally Draq spoke.
“I believe in what I am, nothing more…”
The door closed, ending the conversation. Toran only stayed outside for a few minuets before following Draq inside, but it seemed an eternity for Shiek. So much had happened that night, and she knew it would be a long day in the morning.
posted by Czar at 9:24 AM
2 Comments:
Talk about leaving me hanging! You weren’t kidding about the a-lot-happens-very-fast evaluation. A few observations…
1) I am 99 percent sure who Draq is.
2) I am 100 percent sure I’ve never met Toran.
3) Yeah, it’s definitely Draq.
4) A few truly brilliant moments, simple but they resonate. I think just about any human being, but particularly girls, can identify with the need of having a sanctuary, their own place. So Shiek having her spot is very realistic and makes her very… human? Hyrulian? Anyway, the “it was her spot, the only place in Hyrule that she truly ruled” states a simple reality, but has a lot of depth because of who she really is, what her destiny apparently is, but the weird state of affairs of the present.
5) Another great moment at the very end of this segment – sort of a clash of ‘worldviews’ that Toran so eloquently describes. “Shiek fights because she believes in the stories. I fight because I believe in her. What do you believe in?” I think this is going to crystallize a lot of what happens from here, because what motivates a person is so important. Draq is obviously in this for himself. Both Shiek and Toran believe in something bigger than themselves, namely, the stories (even if Toran is only doing it vicariously. And this is true to life, too; a lot of times we see people following others in a larger calling when they can’t necessarily see the vision themselves. And I think God set it up that way. Paul himself says “imitate me, as I imitate Christ…” that sort of idea, not that I am saying this is a Christian allegory because you might shoot me, but I think it’s true in other circles, too.)
It would be far too clique to say “the plot thickens,” but it’s true… and can’t wait for more!!
Responding to your comment on the confusing state of the world around you. The world may seem confusing, but as C. J. Mahaney aptly stated on Sunday at CHBC, the conflicts around us are not as confusing as we may think. According to James 4:1-2 all conflicts are the result of people’s sinful cravings and can be simply dealt with. Despite how confused we may be, the problems are not as bad as they appear – in fact, resolutions will come. I know what you are thinking, “very nice Sarah, but isn’t that a bit simplistic and naïve. Consider the circumstances and the history of behavior...of course life will become less confusing and resolutions will come…yeah right…” But I say it nonetheless, not because I fully understand how it is done or have fully digested it, I say it…well, I will leave it there…
On to my comments on your story…
I know one thing; you are doing well at writing Draq as quite an intriguing character. I am not sure what I think of him. At points he seems to have some goodness inside him that is spurring him on – that he desires to be kind, protective – but then at other points he seems so selfish he is disgusting. I have a feeling it is because of something in his past, as he referenced to when he said, “Trust me, it’s a thing I’ve had to learn the hard way.” He obviously has had a nasty portion of his past he does not want to acknowledge. I have a question though. Maybe it is just my personality and not anyone in the story has this aspect of my personality, but wouldn’t someone in the story start asking questions about people’s pasts?? There seems to be a lot of ambiguity in what brought people to where they are and no one seems to care to know. Doesn’t Toran want to ask Draq why he said he had to “learn the hard way”?? It seems like these characters are quite content to live on the surface of everyone else’s lives – why?? Is it your writers prerogative that drives you to not share anything to make readers read on, or is it something I am not picking up about these characters that makes them not ask about why people are the way they are?
A stylistic comment: I liked this way you “told time”: The moon had shifted quite a ways across the sky when the murmur of voices brought her back to the darkening night of Hyrule Plain. Very nice…
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